Thanks to all that helped with the formatting. Hopefully this is a little more readable.


I had spent months becoming too old and too fat from sitting in the dark eating fast food, feeling sorry for myself after my divorce. I was in a rut and I knew it. A good friend kept suggesting a little exercise was all I needed to clear my head and get things back on track. He reminded me of how much I had enjoyed skating back in College. He was right. I loved skating. I still loved hockey, despite not even a minor league team within 100 miles of the city. But I still slouched back on the couch until he decided to stage a mini-intervention.

He dragged me out of the house one Monday to his gym with the promise of beer afterward. He managed to get me to the gym twice a week for several months until I got tired of the 20 minute drive and signed up at one much closer to the house. In that time I had offered the idea of skating as a substitute for our regular cardio workouts, which he acquiesced as he’d never skated before, I’ll give him credit for trying. He even complained of the soreness from the workouts. But skating wasn’t his thing.

Regardless, his intervention had worked. I had lost a lot of weight. Junk food made me sick to think about. And I was catching a few eyes I hadn’t before. One especially from the rink manager Debra.

There was the casual flirting between people who occasionally meet in a friendly and public setting. One of her jokes always made me groan. She’d tell it over and over again anyway. Her joke was, “You know what they say about guys with large skates? They take so long to lace up the ice melts.” Yeah, groaner. I had come to know that we were both divorced. She had two kids. I had a dog. She was surprisingly older than I am. Like I said, casual.

I tell you all this because of something that happened a few weeks ago. I was leaving the rink Wednesday night when I was saying goodnight to Debra. She asked what day I was coming next. I had a kinda back and forth schedule between the gym and the rink still, but I expected I’d Betturkey be back Friday or Saturday. “OK”, she said as we waved goodbye.

The next day I had a long, stressful day at work. I needed to unwind, so I was not going to miss the gym for anything. Excepting as I pulled into the gym parking lot, I noticed all the lights were off. There were no people at the equipment or mulling about. But there were a few staff cleaning up. They had taped a note to the door saying they were closed due to a plumbing issue and something about health code. “Well there’s always the rink”, I said to myself. It would be better than nothing.

I pulled into the rink lot ten minutes later, noting the open spaces. It wasn’t a league night, so no minivans full of screaming twelve year olds, hockey moms, or could-have-been NHL All Stars. At worst some some figure skaters getting in some extra practice.

I park and walked through the front door and was halfway down the entrance hall when Debra rounded the corner and saw me. Her expression had twisted from a strange grin to one of horror. She took off running towards me yelling, “You can’t be here. Why are you here?” in a sincere, panicked voice. We closed the gap between us, but soon enough for me to notice why she was concerned.

In the place of tri-colored jerseys clad with armor, numbers, and names were a few dozen people scattered about the rink. A few dozen naked people, all skating, spinning, and trying not to fall bare-assed on the ice.

“Debra!”, was all I managed. My expression must have said it all. She grabbed my free arm to pull me back down the entrance hallway. Near the door, I pulled back and demanded an explanation.

“I’ll explain later. You can’t be here right now. I’ll get in trouble.”

I was about to ask what kind of trouble the manager could get into when a couple appeared at the entrance. Debra quickly went out, pushing the door behind her. I could hear her explaining that the rink was closed for a private event and for them to please come back another time. With that and the free passes I know she keeps Betturkey Giriş on hand, they were gone. She slid back in the door, throwing the lock with a reminder to herself to turn off the open sign.

“Debra, what kind of private event is this? Who are all these people?”

She began to speak when an older man wearing skates and a robe rounded the corner. “Debra, is this a friend of yours?”, he asked.

She was panicked. She was turning pale and red at the same time from the situation. I’m sure the cold wasn’t helping either. I put my arm around her to help steady her nerves. “Yes, we know each other.” I replied for her.

“Ah, then it’s in your best interest to be as discreet as we expect her to be?”

I hesitated while I weighed the situation.

The man continued. “We are a group of uh, excentrics. We have a penchant for doing ordinary activities in the nude. I contacted Debra over the weekend about a private event, as you have seen. I assure you we are paying both her and the rink quite well. And should these opportunities continue, well our arrangement will continue.”

I looked down at Debra, now steadied, “How well are they paying you for this?”

Her eyes widened, “A lot” staring far off at some enormous pile of cash in her mind.

I looked back at the robed man and small crowd of of casually nude skaters standing just around the corner joining the conversation.

“Now son,” the man continued, “we need some assurance that you won’t go running off to the authorities or newspapers about what has transpired here.”

Again, I weighed the situation and slowly spoke, ” I can assure you that I have no problem with any of this. I won’t tell anyone. Besides, who would believe me?”

“I wish it were that simple. Our Debra here signed an NDA when she accepted our arrangement. And as much as I may trust you, some of our more prominent members require more.”

“I can sign an NDA. I have nothing to lose.” I interjected.

“Yes, that precisely the problem. You have nothing to lose. Debra has the money we paid her, the money we paid the rink, and our potential continued business. You however have nothing more that the clothes on your back with which to barter.”

The crowd around the corner had grown to most of the group. They were silently involved in the conversation, speaking with their eyes. The cold uneasiness Debra earlier had was now creeping into my shivering bones.

A woman stepped forward wrapping her arm around the man’s waist and offered, “Then why doesn’t he offer us the clothes off his back, darling? He should join us. He came ready to skate. Look at his gear bag. Plus he is not unattractive.” she said with a cutting gaze up and down in my direction.

“Always trying to recruit.” he said as he smacked at her bottom as she turned back into the crowd.

“How about it then, boy? You join us and you’re as culpable as we are. We’ll even waive the entrance fee.”

Debra’s mouth was now open looking up at me. “You don’t have to. I’ll give the money back.”

I knew from our casual conversations that Debra needed money. Plus what else would I have to offer? “I’ll do it, Debra. You can keep the money. You’ve earned it.”

The crowd pulled me in toward the rink. Most headed back out onto the ice. The woman with the kind suggestion to join them stayed behind as I began to disrobe. “We have a few rules.” she said. “Firstly, no one has to do anything they do not wish to. Secondly, you are not allowed to make fun of, embarrass, or be cruel to any other member. Thirdly,” she looked down, “you must be naked excepting for any necessary equipment.” With that she bent down and stripped me of my boxers. “Fourthly, anything goes, with permission of course. And lastly, have fun.”

I had not noticed, but Debra had followed me with the crowd and was standing only a few feet away. Her shocked open mouth was still open, albeit for different reasons. I glanced down at the obvious and shrugged my shoulders. “Hi Debra”, I said to rouse her attention. She awkwardly laughed and looked away.

I finished putting my skates on and stood up. I hobbled over to her, leaned in, and whispered in her ear , “You owe me.” as I turned and broke out onto the ice.

There’s more to my introduction to the eccentric naked hobbies club. And much more, and less, between me and Debra.

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